


I only love you when I'm drunk

by SeriouslyCaroline



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Drunk Val, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, I'm just gonna ignore IW, Loki has feelings too, Val is bi, Valkyrie is a dorky alcoholic, a lot of feelings, could get a sequel, hangovers, idk what i wrote, kind of open ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-04-16 17:32:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14169978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeriouslyCaroline/pseuds/SeriouslyCaroline
Summary: At some point, Valkyrie realizes that she needs a friend that isn't an alcohol bottle.FINISHED!





	1. Chapter 1

„Did you drink again?“

She looks him in the eyes, raises a dark eyebrow in annoyance. „I think you mean: Are you still drunk? Well…“ She belches in a most unladylike manner and Thor’s face scrunches up. She doesn’t care. It’s not like he wouldn’t do it too.„Guess I am.“

Her companion shakes his head, but then sits down at the seat opposite her. „I thought I told you to stop doing that.“ He stares at her disapprovingly, a strand of his blonde hair falling into his eyes. It has grown back a bit, but it will take a long time to return to the ‚magnificent, sublime locks‘ Thor has told her all about.  
She snorts loudly, another inelegant habit she has adopted from the Hulk during their time at the Grandmaster’s.  
„Oh really?“, Valkyrie slurs and chuckles. „I forgot.“  
„You are going to kill yourself, Val.“, Thor says, snatches the bottle from her hands and stands up quickly, escaping her fist by a hairs breadth. The boy is lucky he is a god.  
„Nooooo!!!“, Valkyrie protests, attempting to kick him or grab him, but she just isn’t sober enough to make out which of his arms or legs are real.

She almost topples over, but someone pulls her to her feet before she can fall.  
„Easy there!“, Bruce says soothingly. Was he there the entire time? Weirdo.  
Valkyrie sways and tries to free herself, after all Thor the King of Haircare still has her bottle, but again, she fails because of her drunkenness.  
And then she gets angry. Poor Banner looks really intimidated and she throws insults his way she never used before and knowing that her dead teammates would probably be ashamed. Or maybe she has used them before. She won’t remember this night, anyway.  
„I like your green counterpart way better!“, she shouts, and she knows it’s unfair, but unfortunately, she is running out of ideas. „You are just a boring, weak professor! And you have no friends other than your stupid doctor titels!!!“

Bruce sighs. „Let’s get you to bed, ‚kay Val?“  
„Over my dead body!“

When she wakes up, she is in her room and somebody has put a blanket over her sleeping form. Huh.  
She yawns and sits up, but immediately groans. Her headache is killing her.  
Valkyrie blinks, pushing a strand of her dark brown hair from her forehead and out of her mouth. Oh yeah, her mouth. Tastes like something died in there.

Valkyrie falls asleep and wakes up again and falls asleep over the course of four hours.  
Somewhere in between Thor attempts to talk to her, but figures out it is useless because all she does is nod and drool all over his shoulder.  
He leaves.  
Shortly after him, Dr Banner shakes her awake and wants her to tell him how she feels. She frowns at him, murmuring something like she has been drunk before, why should she feel any different from that, and leave me alone.  
„Oh. Okay.“, Bruce answers, with something in his kind voice like disappointment and it makes Valkyrie feel bad.  
So she pats his arm and smiles her most charming smile, even tough she feels like she has been overrun by Hela’s dumb cur.  
„Don’t worry, Dr Banner, I’m fine. And I’m really sorry if I said something that hurt your feelings.“ Good. That almost sounded convincing.  
Apparently, it is convincing enough for Bruce, because he grins like a little boy and a blush forms on his cheekbones. Valkyrie remembers him calling her pretty a while ago.  
„N-No, it’s okay.“ He coughs awkwardly. „Anyway, I… uh, better look after Thor and Korg, right?“  
Valkyrie doesn’t bother to remind him that Korg is an adult too (or whatever you call rocks who have reached maturity) and Thor is their king. Instead she just nods gratefully and closes her eyes.  
But almost instantly, something tickles her nose. She sneezes. It is still there. 

„What the hell?“, she moans. And looks right into a pair of light blueish- grey eyes.  
Of course he would also pay her a visit. Bugger.  
„What do you want, Loki?“, Valkyrie mumbles.  
Loki smirks his annoying little smirk, and oh, how she would love to slap it off his face if she weren’t so damn disorientated and tired.  
„Maybe I just wanted to see my favourite Valkyrie, huh?“, Loki purrs.  
She narrows her eyes at the god. „I am the only Valkyrie alive, clownfish.“  
He actually grins at that. Irritating.

She stares at him, waiting for him to explain himself.  
„You are just here to wreck my nerves, aren’t you?“, she finally says.  
Loki chuckles, white teeth shining.  
Then a green lightning flashes over his body and suddenly he doesn’t look like Loki anymore, but like herself.  
„I don’t know, am I?“, the god of mischief asks in her voice.  
„You are creepy.“, Valkyrie barks and throws her pillow at his face. He transforms back to his old self. „Get out!“

Loki pouts, but then slowly walks to the door, opens it and steps out.  
„Bye.“, he whispers playfully.  
She flips him her middle-finger and burrows her face in her blanket. Why, oh, why can’t she have normal friends?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

"But I swear-...", Valkyrie holds both of her hands in the air. "This time I honestly believed it was apple juice!"

Thor glares at her. Sometimes Valkyrie thinks that he is taking his job as the king too far. After all, she isn't nuts. Right? 

"We barely have water.", Thor says and narrows his eyes. "Why would we have apple juice?"

Valkyrie glares back at him, and she knows that her gaze is way more intimidating than his. "Ask the varelse that sold it to me! Mean little thing!"

"It was a kid, Val! Kids aren't evil!", Thor protests. 

She snorts. "Then what did you call your brother back then, huh?"

For a moment, Thor looks angry, his huge broad frame towering above her way smaller one, which is kinda scary for Val. But she would never admit that. Then, a shadow crosses the gods face. He sighs and steps away from her.

"Loki wasn't always so... Loki. In our childhood, we were the best friends Asgard had ever seen. But he started to live in my shadow and that did bad things to his soul."

"Oh. I just-... Oh. I just thought that it would be in the family, Hela being his sister and all. And the two even look alike." Valkyrie shudders.

Thor snorts like he knows some joke she doesn't, but says nothing more. He puts a blanket over her body and steps towards the door, like he always does. At some crazy point, Valkyrie guesses that he had become some sort of friend or brother to her.

"Sleep well.", he says.

She grins. "Vekling."

* * *

 

_Hela's spear cuts through Ozella's armour and body like it's made of butter._

_"Brunhilde!", Ozella whispers weakly, her wide blue eyes sad and full of betrayal. "Why didn't you save me?"_

 

Valkyrie wakes up with a gasp and notices that tears are streaming down her face. It is always the same dream, again and again and again. She and her fellow valkyries are fighting against the goddess of death, Valkyrie falls, is disoriented for a heartbeat and then Hela is already throwing her weapon at her.

And every night Ozella, Valkyrie's friend and lover, tough and lovely and wonderful Ozella, jumps infront of the spear and dies because of Valkyrie. She doesn't witness her death, in her dreams Ozella just asks her why she had to die, but Valkyrie knows how it ends anyway.

And it hurts.

Valkyrie sniffs, wipes the saliva and tears from her face and stands up. She needs some whiskey or beer or in the best case mead to get through this night.

She opens her door and steps out if her room. The hallways are cold and empty, because there isn't any heater or radiator on board of this damned ship.

Thor is right, they barely have any water or tea and Valkyrie feels bad for requesting alcohol, but she can't help it.

She probably won't find anything this night, but at least searching for it keeps her awake and away from her nightmares.

Surprisingly, a bottle rolls onto the floor.

Valkyrie blinks, eyes it suspiciously and then grabs it . But as soon as she wants to open it, it vanishes into thin air. She growls angrily, hoping to see a sliver of green and black, because she has the need to kick something. But unfortunately, her target seems to be hiding, so she kicks the wall instead, howling loudly, when her foot twists.

A woman with brown locks and a plain dress rounds the corner and stares at her openmouthed.

Valkyrie smiles and waves her hand. The woman quickly turns on her heel and goes back to where she came from. Poor thing.

"Tssk, tssk, tssk.", a familiar and hated voice suddenly says. Valkyrie spins around and pins the surprised Loki to the wall. He smirks, then another one taps her shoulder.

"You are so infuriating!", she hisses. Now she can't decide which one of the two she should kill. Maybe both.

"I know.", say both Looks in unison. "And you are _desperate."_

"Shut it, cow-helmet!"

"Desperate, desperate, Valkyrie is desperate!", the Loki on the left sing-songs. "Desperate, desperate, desperate!" He pauses, rummages in the pockets of his robes for something and pulls out a flask of mead. "And all she has to do is ask."

"It's fake anyway!", Valkyrie answers calmly. 

"Is it?", Loki asks and then the idiot opens the bottle and begins to pour it's contents onto the floor.

"Hey!", Valkyrie shouts. "Stop it!" 

Well, maybe she _is_ a little desperate.

"Ask nicely.", Loki says and smiles.

Valkyrie hesitates, considers to just knock him out and steal the bottle, but then she puts on her best fake puppy dog eyes and says: "Please, please, dear Loki, my friend, could you hand me the flask?"

Loki grins even wider, then slowly extends the bottle in her direction. She grabs it am drowns the sweet liquid in her mouth.

"Nightmares?", Loki wants to know and leans against the wall next to her.

She just nods. "Why do you care? Do you gods have them too?"

"I guess so.", Loki murmurs. "But you'll have to ask Thor to be sure."

"What?", Valkyrie asks and then it dawns on her. "You... you aren't a god, aren't you?"

Loki laughs silently, then locks his light eyes with hers and shakes his head. "No darling."

"Wh-What are you?", Valkyrie asks, stepping away from him. She suddenly feels very uncomfortable and unsafe. Maybe this was all a big mistake. 

 

"I won't tell you.", he answers immediately. "I don't like you." He groans as he stretches his back and walks closer to her, until she can feel his breath on her skin. "You'll have to live with the fear that there is a monster on board of this ship." A shiver runs down her spine.

And then the bastard just steps away from her and leaves her completely flabbergasted.

 

 

_I don't like you._

Valkyrie closes her eyes, breathes in and out, and a plan begins to form in her head. A bad, very bad plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> varelse- creature
> 
> vekling- wimp
> 
> Hope you enjoyed Chapter 2!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

Valkyrie feels like this is the first time in her life she hasn't had a drop of alcohol.

 

And life is horrible.

 

You would think that the nasty headaches would go away, but they only became a thousand times worse. When she looks in the little mirror of her cabin, she sees a skeleton with sunken cheeks and pale, grey skin. Ugh.

And the worst part is, that her boredom makes her seriously think about acting out the stupid plan her drunken mind had formed three days ago. If she would have been bored at Sakaar, she would have well... _been too drunk to even think about anything_ , or she would have just beaten someone up. But here, there wasn't such an opportunity. Turns out, the mead that Loki had poured at the damn _floor_ , had been the last drop of anything worth drinking. And Thor would totally throw her out of the ship if she would hit one of his little subjects.

So yeah, there she is, the great last Valkyrie, Defender of the Asgardian people, teammate of the two royal heirs, friend of freakin' HULK, sitting alone in a corner. She is a zombie. A rat. A shadow of herself. Or how Banner would call her: _Recovering alcoholic_. Double Ugh.

 

She stands up, knees wobbly and weak and her hair probably a mess, but who is she to complain, right?

Valkyrie opens her door and looks out of the ships' window. Outside, it's dark. Not just dark, it seems like there aren't any stars on the sky. It is depressing. She yawns and wants to go back inside, when she hears a faint noise of boots hitting the floor. She knows those boots. They are expensive-looking and black and horribly shiny. She hates them.

Valkyrie ducks behind a column and listens. Maybe he'll think she is still in her room, and when he comes to scare her, she can punch a dent into his perfect jawline.

 _Or I could act out my genius plan_., her mind says.

She shakes her head. No!

Loki is a few steps away from her hiding spot. She grins. Idiot. He walks by and looks like he wants to push open her door, but strangely, he hesitates. His hand hangs in the air for a few seconds, then he lowers it and steps away from her cabin.

Valkyrie narrows her eyes in suspicion. 

Loki sighs and turns towards the same window she had looked out earlier. A sad look crosses his face.

_Now is the perfect time, Val! He is distracted and vulnerable. Act!_

_"No!"_

Loki spins around, his eyes green and light, like two burning emeralds. Valkyrie realizes, that she must have shouted the last bit out loud. And that he must think she is totally nuts.

"Uh-...", Valkyrie says and Loki cocks an eyebrow. "No? I mean: NO! Don't-..." She searches for an explanation for her weird behavior. "Don't... uh... look outta the window!"

Loki stares at her. 

"The... The stars will make you feel so... lonely.... And you don't wanna be lonely?" Great. Just perfect. Nobody is going to think she is insane.

"The stars-...", Loki asks and brushes a strand of silky black hair from his forehead. "The stars will make me feel depressed?"

Valkyrie nods, embarrassed. "No, the lack of."

An awkward silence fills the hallway. Loki coughs and eyes the wall, like it reveals all the answers to his being. Valkyrie steps a bit closer. He doesn't notice.

"So, er... You are a monster, huh?", she wants to know.

He startles, but catches himself. "Yep."

"And you don't like me, so you don't tell me."

"Yep. You're a true genius, Val-curry."

"Shut up Lackey. So, if you would like me, you would tell me and I could sleep without worrying to be eaten alive by a giant lizard."

He glares at her, probably upset about the lizard thing. "Yes. But like you said I don't like-..."

"We can change that.", Valkyrie whispers, takes another step and suddenly she can feel his breath on her chocolate skin. He is up close kinda handsome. Not in Thor's muscleman-way, but in his own, unique one. She decides, that this is the one thing she likes about him. 

And then she does something really stupid. She kisses him.

Of course, she knows that it will change nothing. Loki won't be in love with her after one kiss. And she won't be either. Hell, she actually prefers kissing women. Still, she blames it on the long time without any physical contact, but she rather enjoys it.

At first, Loki is rigid and frozen to the ground, but soon she can feel his heartbeat becoming stronger and faster and his lips move a bit. 

It's not a dream kiss. They aren't prince and princess. They hate each other.

But it is everything Valkyrie needed and she isn't bored anymore, so yes, it was worth it.

She pulls away first, breathless and looks at him. Just looks. His light skin is flushed, a pretty color she would have painted her room with when she was little. Loki's hair is dishelved and messy from her fingers raking though it. He'll probably be mad at her.

He pants and stares at her with wide, adorable eyes.

"Now-...", she breathes, pats his cheek. "Do you still don't like me?"

Loki blinks, like he awakens from trance and then his face scrunches up. His brows furrow and his eyes burn with anger. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!", he shouts loudly.

"Geez, chill down-...", Valkyrie murmurs, but he is already storming away from her.

One thing she knows for sure: The next day is going to be interesting.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki hates her. He doesn't say as much, but she sees it in his reproachful pale eyes nonetheless. 

She wouldn't really admit it to anyone (especially not Thor, Banner or the irritating something-creature himself), but in a way, it bugs her. Not because Loki hasn't spoken to her since the _incident_ \- actually, she quiet enjoys being ignored- but because she can't figure out why he is even mad.

It was just a kiss. A little joke. Loki pranks everyone all the time. And Val didn't throw herself at him and forced him to say _I love you_. No, it was just a kiss. Simple as that.

 

Her mind has made up all kinds of theories. Theory number one: He just doesn't like her and therefore he didn't like being kissed by her. 

Number two: He is already in love with another person and felt like he was cheating on him or her. 

And number three (she is actually pretty proud of that one): The kind of monster he is loathes physical contact and sees it as a weakness to be hugged or kissed.

The last one is probably the one closest to the truth, so Val decides to believe it since not believing anything is stupid. And anyway, she doesn't need his dumb presence in her life. He can go kill himself and she wouldn't mind.

 

* * *

 

The days pass by and Loki still avoids her. What really angers Valkyrie is that the idiot is super obvious. Thor and Banner have begun to send questioning glances her way and all she can do is to shrug it off.

As long as the two don't annoy her with their need to know everything it is okay for her.

The problem is that, of course, they do.

So one night (or day, since Valkyrie has lost her sense of orientation loooong ago) Thor barges into he room.

"Haven't you heard of an invention named 'knocking'? You should try it!", Valkyrie hisses angrily.

"Val...", Thor begins and settles down at the end of her bed. She eyes him. He looks tired. His blonde hair is messy and his eyes look red and blood-shot. "What is going on between you and Loki?"

"Nothing!!", Valkyrie answers quickly. That is the problem... Wait, what? 

Thor glares at her. He must have practiced it. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not!", Valkyrie says. "It's not my fault your idiot of a fake brother is acting like a damn two-year-old!!!"

Thor's eyes widen in surprise. "Repeat that."

She arches one dark eyebrow. "...a damn two-year-old?"

"No, no.", Thor corrects her. "You said my idiot of a fake brother. Why would you say that?"

Oops. "Because...", Valkyrie murmurs. "Because he isn't really your brother, am I right? He hinted as much."

Thor nods slowly.

Valkyrie sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "He said he isn't your real brother. And well, he didn't want to tell me what he was, so I began to get mad. And I was drunk... again. I had a really stupid idea to get the information outta him. So when he showed up the next time, I just went and kissed him. I... I thought that maybe he would tell me. And I was terribly bored.

He enjoyed it, I guess, but as soon as the kiss was over, he got all offended and ran away. Since then, we haven't talked to each other and I don't know why. It was just a little fun, right?"

Thor had gone all silent. He didn't say a word, just stared right at her in deep thought. Finally, he cleared his throat and said: "Val, how do you feel about my brother?"

Valkyrie blinked. "I think he is a massive jerk. He goes around and bugs people just for fun. Sometimes, I wish he had stayed at Sakaar. But since he doesn't talk to me, I kind of hope he would just tell me what I did wrong so we could go back to how it was. Frenemies."

Thor smiled. "You miss him, don't you?"

 _No!,_ she wanted to protest. _I don't miss him! He could fall down a volcano and I wouldn't miss him. Be eaten by sharks. Return to the grandmaster_. But for some reason, she stayed silent. Because it was true. She missed that idiot and his ridiculous hair and green robes. And it scared her.

"Y...Yes. No. Yes."

"Then talk to him, Valkyrie. Only he is able to tell you why he is mad. And if you don't make the first step, you two won't talk to each other until you die. I know for sure that he won't come and pour out his heart to you."

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Until you die." Why did I have to write that sentence in the previous chapter? Now I'm depressed again.

Valkyrie sighs and drops her hand again. She is a damn coward.

It should be easy: Knock, let him open the stupid door and then pin him to the wall and force him to answer her questions. But it isn't easy. She is scared. Scared of herself and Loki's crazy moods. And his answer.

Valkyrie sinks to the floor and decides to stay there until the end of the world...Right, that had already happened when Ragnarok destroyed Asgard.

She is on the verge of drifting to sleep when she hears footsteps coming her direction. They continue, but come to an abrupt halt. 

Slowly, Valkyrie opens one dark eye. Of course.

Loki looks like he wants to run away again. His whole boy is frozen to the ground and his face contorts between rage and panic. He looks like a scared little cat who hisses to protect herself. It's kind of hilarious.

Valkyrie stands up and yawns. Then, she grins at him. "Hi, Lackey. I waited for you."

He swallows. 

"So... How ya doin'? Everything ok?", she asks. 

He takes a step back.

"No? Why? Still brooding because of the 'incident'? Or have you forgotten about it?" 

He mumbles something that sounds like _'Of course not_ ' or ' _That's a sore spot'._

"Well, anyway, I'm here to talk to you.", she says.

His eyes narrow. "I don't want to talk to you. Go bother my brother or Banner."

She laughs. "That's what I have been doing the whole time while you were ignoring me!"

"So what?", Loki growls. "Am I supposed to apologize? You kissed me!"

She blinks. "Yeah. And I don't get why you are mad at me. It was a kiss. Harmless. Innocent. No big deal. But you act like I had slaughtered a cute baby animal in front of your eyes!" No wait. He would enjoy seeing that.

"You are so..." He fumed and reached for a fitting word. "Just leave me alone, freak!"

"First you tell me what I did wrong!", Valkyrie yells. 

"You are so stupid!", he shouts angrily. "You think you can do anything without having to face the consequences! You just take and take and take! And you know what; I'm fine with that, but leave me the hell out of your little game!"

"I had the idea when I was drunk, okay?", she tries to justify herself. 

"But even then you just wanted to have a bit of fun, am I right? To mess with my head!"

They both pant, faces flushed, staring at each other. And that is, when _she realizes._

"You... You were angry because I manipulated your emotions.", she whispers. "All you wanted was to be loved and now you had to deal with the fact that even the person who kissed you just used you as a means for the purpose. A pastime against boredom."

His eyes widen slightly, but then he looks away in shame.

 

* * *

 

Valkyrie doesn't know what to say. She would have never guessed that he, the aggressively flirty one, the one person on board of the ship who hated everyone except his brother, would care about being loved.

"I'm sorry.", she finally states, because there is nothing else to say. 

He just nods. "Can I please go to my room now?"

"Yeah, sure, I mean, it's  you room...", she stutters, feeling pathetic. "...anyway."

He walks past her, his shoulder lightly brushing hers and she almost jumps at the contact.

She watches him unlock his door with his fingerprint and open it. He hesitates, as if he would contemplate about answering her sentence, but then he just shuts the door without even glancing back.

Valkyrie looks at the door with a strange feeling in her stomach, a feeling she hasn't felt in a long time.

 

 

 

 

Maybe one day, someone would give him the love he is craving. 

 

 

 

Maybe she could be that someone, if she tries.

 

 

 

 

 

But first, she has to make sure that there really isn't any alcohol left on this ship. Because god knows, she needs it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was it. My first Valki fic. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
